im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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