There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
false alarm, still single
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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