Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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