just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
