i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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