I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
