who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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