See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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