i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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