Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
