I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
whose parrot is this?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
