If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
