What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
