Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
