2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
