is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
