the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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