I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
