worst night to have a conscience
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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