maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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