I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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