i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
