I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
