maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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