Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
