Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
