Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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