Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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