YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
