someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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