My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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