my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
