Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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