But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
