So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
