idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
