we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
