just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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