from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
