I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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