Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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