I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
