Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
