No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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