Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
worst night to have a conscience
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
