I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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