dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
