a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
