I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
