the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
