i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
