So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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