According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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